texts from last night

some TFLN highlights from the weekend:

(714): dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"

(540): she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
(803): youve hit the jackpot

(253): Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.

(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

(562): trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"

(516): So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."

(703): Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...

texts from last night